Sprinkled Randomness
by TwOpEaSiNaHpWoRlD
Summary: A very random story, that's pretty much it. By both SiriuslyFunny and WhereMyHeartResides. Please review losers. UPDATED!
1. The Secert Life

A/N

Hiya! This is where-my-heart-resides and SiriuslyFunny.

Where-my-heart-resides- Liz

SiriuslyFunny- Kiki

Yeah, we go by that. Thanks for reading! And review losers!

Disclaimer: We're only gonna say this once, so listen up. we own nothing you recognize, punk.

* * *

It was the year 2071 and James Potter and company (including Harry, Ron, ect.) were dead. In the afterlife they had computers. And they were on one right now.

"Go check my email Hun," Lily asked James sweetly.

"Okay," James said, clicking out of a stupid animation him and Harry were laughing at.

"What's that?" Lily asked, pointing to an unfamiliar email address.

James double clicked on the email and found this message:

_Ron-secretly gay_

Harry raised his eyebrows in confusion and called Ron over. Ron narrowed his eyebrows while Hermione laughed at him.

"Shut up!" he exclaimed. "I am not gay!"

Ron went over and sulked in a corner.

"Um... James, honey, there's another one." Lily said, pointing to the email.

"Oh no," James replied as he opened the email.

_Snape- secretly a very happy girl _

"Me, a girl, I think not. I think it's time to attempt find out who's spreading these lies about us," Snape said. But really, he was thinking 'How did they find out?'

"Hey, another one," Lily said, pointing.

James grinned because it was funny and read the green text.

_Dumbledore- secretly a playboy model_

Dumbledore had suddenly appeared out of nowhere again.

"What silly rumors," Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling.

Everyone laughed with Dumbledore, but Snape kept silent.

"_Goodness...I'm glad that they didn't find out I was in it with him. Stupid goat, forced me. Made me break my record of greasy hair..."_

"Oh goodness, another one. I just can't believe these rumors!" Hermione said as she pointed to the next email.

_Hermione- secretly a stripper_

Hermione turned bright red. Ron got a dreamy expression on his face. Ginny slapped Ron. Everybody looked at the email, disbelieving its content.

"Okay, that one was even more far fetched than the others!" Harry exclaimed.

But, Snape was sitting in his corner thinking ' _OH! So that was her that I saw at that strippers bar..._

While Hermione ran over to the loo, everyone pointed to the next one and read it.

"These are so stupid," Harry said, waiting for the message to come up.

_Harry-secretly a prostitute_

Harry's eyes widened as Sirius gave him a pat on the back.

"Way to go," he said.

Lily glared at him.

"Harry, I can't believe this!" Lily exclaimed.

"WHAT! I DID NOT DO SUCH A THING!" Harry yelled, about to punch the computer.

"Now, now, Potter, no caps locks for you," Snape said, remembering the day he saw him being a prostitute.

"I'm sorry... I just got that teen angst back in my system.

Ginny, who had been in the kitchen eating potato salad, came in the room and read the message.

"HARRY!" she sobbed, slapping him in the face.

Harry stomped out of the room, Lily running over to comfort him.

Sirius was silent.

"_Oh geez...he better not be that prostitute Remmy was telling me about..."_

Harry went and muttered to himself in a corner. Ron yelped suddenly.

"Hey look! There's another one!" He said.

_Seamus- secretly not Irish_

All of a sudden, Seamus came waltzing casually into the room.

Everybody glared at him.

"What, you can't be angry at the Irish person!" He said.

"We may not be able to be angry at the Irish person, but we can be angry with you, BECAUSE YOU AREN'T IRISH!" Harry screamed.

Everybody looked at him.

"Sorry, I had just a little more angst left in me. Won't happen again." He promised.

Nobody noticed that Seamus had secretly left the room.

Snape was still sitting in his corner thinking, '_No wonder I saw him in that weird deodorant commercial. The thing said: **My secret: I'm not really Irish.'**_

"I wonder how long this will be," James muttered while opening another email.

_Dean- secretly Michael Jackson_

Dean, who was laughing at the last email, broke into tears, and left the room.

"WHAT THE BLOODY HECK IS GOING ON?" Harry yelled again.

"Stop the caps locks!" yelled James and Snape.

"Sorry..." Harry muttered.

"Why...That's so unfair! i get the worst one! That's so mean!" Dean exclaimed, Sirius patting him on the back and leading him to the kitchen.

"It's okay. It's not your fault that Snape encouraged you. I won't tell anyone that you he raped you and you raped Ron's son," Sirius said sympathetically.

"Ah! Not another one!" Harry cried.

_Lavender- secretly not a virgin_

Everybody was silent before Hermione spoke.

"Who here did NOT know that?" Hermione said.

Ron and Harry, being the oblivious gits that they are, raised their hands.

Lavender suddenly walked in, and slapped them both.

"How could you NOT know that? I gave up my virginity to you guys at the SAME time!" She said as she left the room.

Now everybody was looking at Harry and Ron weirdly.

"Umm... Hi?" Harry and Ron said at the same time.

Ginny and Hermione ran out of the room, crying while James opened another email.

_Snape-secretly screwing Hermione_

Seamus, who was watching TV, screamed as a little Mexican boy crawled out of the TV and ran over to Snape.

"You bastard! Now I shall bitch-slap you!" the little boy said, not sounding very fluent because of his accent.

Then he climbed back into the TV, laughing.

Everyone cracked up at the randomness.

Snape climbed into the TV, and everyone ran over to the TV and watched Snape run after the kid. His voice was soon changed to sound like Fleur.

"Get back here, so I can bitch-slap you!" Snape yelled, wearing a cowboy hat.

Everyone cracked up and turned back to the computer, which was beeping because Lily had so many messages.

Hermione had overheard the message and started to cry.

"I swear, if he put that video on the internet, I'll kill the greaseball," Hermione muttered.

Lily opened another one.

_Voldermort- secretly likes to molest babies_

Tom Riddle apperated into the room quickly, and shouted,

"I SWEAR IT WAS ONLY ONCE!"

And disappeared.

Then Voldermort came, making everyone flare up.

"Yeah, it was only once. I sent my teenage form here, because I didn't want to be guilty of caps locks," Voldermort explained.

Harry suddenly looked angrier.

"Ha Potter! You don't have anyway of expressing caps lock! Ha!" Voldermort sneered.

"YES I DO! TALK SNAPE!" Harry yelled, choking Snape.

"SHUT UP BASTARD!" Snape yelled.

"SEE!" Harry yelled, Voldermort suddenly disappearing.

James opened another email.

_Lily- cheated off Sirius's paper_

"Harry, honey, would you come here?" Lily asked Harry sweetly.

"ARE YOU KIDDING? I'M WAY SMARTER THAN SIRIUS! HE'S SO DUMB!"

Harry wearily walked away. And Sirius slipped past Lily, heading towards the kitchen.

"Don't worry Lily. I won't tell anyone," he said.

Lily opened another one. After that one about HER cheating, she was reluctant, but did it anyway. Nobody else had two, so why should she.

_Lily- secretly cheated on James with Sirius_

Lily groaned.

James looked outraged.

"Son, take it away." He said.

"Hem hem." Harry cleared his throat. "HOW ON EARTH COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME YOU SLUT? AND YOU, SIRIUS, HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME, YOUR BEST FRIEND!" Harry said.

"Well, at least his caps lock helps in this case..." Remus muttered.

But Lily and Sirius weren't listening. They were snogging under the table.

James started crying. But, it wasn't because of Lily...

James sadly opened another one while Lily and Sirius crept away from under the table.

_James- secretly used Lily to get to Sirius_

Lily started bawling, while Sirius smiled.

James snapped his fingers, and a Shakespeare appeared.

"Okay, you know the drill," James said in a dull tone.

Oh sweet Lily

How thy must confess

Our love was surely thy best

But now it comes to this

I shall give thy a goodbye kiss

For I have fallen deeply in love with my funny, smarter than you, prank-pulling friend Sirius

Lily stopped crying, and everyone was in shock.

"Oh James, that was the best poem I have ever heard. I know you're faking it," Lily said dreamily, throwing her arms around James.

"Oh I know," James said proudly.

And then they started snogging under the table. Sirius saw James wink at him.

"Lily is so daft. Now just wait. He will soon be mine," Sirius whispered to himself.

Since Lily and James were busy, Sirius opened up another email.

_Sirius- used James to get Remus_

James stopped snogging Lily abruptly, and turned to Sirius.

"YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH REMUS!" James yelled. Lily eyes widened.

"Um... Dude, stop pretending to be Harry. And ya, I cheated on you with Remus," Sirius said.

"Oh, ok then," James said. Then he and Lily started snogging again.

Sirius, who was very curious at the moment, opened up another email.

_Remus- secretly went out with Sirius to impress Snape_

Remus's and Snape's eyebrows were raised so high, that they looked like they were going to fly off.

"Potter, come here," Snape ordered.

Harry just ran straight over to Remus instead.

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL! THAT IS SUCH A LIE! HOW COULD YOU EVEN THINK OF ME AND THAT GREASEBALL TOGETHER?" Harry yelled.

Remus and Snape ran out of the room and said "they would go throw up."

In the bathroom, they started to hug, Snape ruffling Remus's hair.

"Oh how I love you my greasy ball of love. I wish to snog you 'till the day is done!" Remus said dreamily.

"Me likey," Snape seductively.

And with that, Remus ran out quickly and met up with his beautiful wife, Tonks, and snogged her senseless.

* * *

A/N

Liz isn't here right now.

-Sniffs-

But the emails were actually made by us. We sent them to each other a while ago.

I give credit to however made up the "caps locks" thing. You're bloody brilliant, as Ron would say.

Remember to review!

Snape- Me likey…reviews are Mmm Mmm good!

Much love,

Kiki and Liz


	2. Death Eaters Caught on Tape

A/N

This is Kiki. Thanks muchly all of you reviewers. I shall give you cheese. –sniggers-.

* * *

IT'S THE NEW SHOW TO HIT THE WIZARDING WORLD'S TV!

_DEATH EATERS CAUGHT ON TAPE!_

"Hi, this is one of your hostesses. I think you'll recognize me; I'm Rita Skeeter by the way. For the next thrity minutes, you will see very disturbing videos involving 'happy' death eaters. If you have young children, I would advise you close their eyes. Enjoy!" Rita Skeeter said professionally.

Voldie was showering in his luxury shower.

"OHHHHHHHHH! I BELIEVE I CAN FLY" he sang, flapping his arms wildly.

If you looked closer, you could also see him using his bottle of Herbal Essences as a mike.

"I BELIEVE I CAN TOUCH THE SKY" He sang, running a hand down his chest.

Then he got out of the shower, putting his pink robe on. Then video ended.

Another clip came up.

A group of male death eaters were sitting around in a room, all leaning against a couch, and eating popcorn. In front of them was a TV. On the TV, random pictures of male stars were coming up. TOM WELLING this picture said.

"I rate him a 9 and a half" Said Snape. The death eaters booed and a bunch randomly yelled "no! 8!"

The TV screen suddenly filled with a picture of Snape. The death eaters in unison said "10!" and they all ran towards Snape, who ran for his life.

That clip ended, making another one come on screen.

Voldie was on stage, holding a mike. He was also wearing a blonde wig and red leather pants and a tight shirt.

"You drive me craaaaaaazy

I just can't sleep

I'm so excited

I'm in too deep"

Voldie sang. In a very scratchy, high voice. And he was shaking his body back and forth, which looked seriously disturbing.

"Crazy

But it feels alright

Baby thinking of you keeps me up all night"

He sang again. Now he was down by the audience, running a hand through his fake blonde hair. Then Snape pulled it off, making Voldie run away crying.

The video stopped, another one starting up.

Malfoy Sr. had his back to the camera. All of a sudden, he started humming. Then, he started singing at the top of his voice. "SNAPE'S DAD HAS GOT IT GOIN' ON. HE'S ALL I WANT, AND I'VE WAITED FOR SO LONG! SNAPE CAN'T YOU SEE, YOUR JUST NOT THE GUY FOR ME! I KNOW IT MIGHT BE WRONG BUT I'M IN LOVE WITH SNAPE'S DAD!" The camera switched views, so that you could see Lucius' face. He was sitting on the couch, with his headphones on, painting his toenails, and wearing a face mask.

The video ended.

"Now, we're down to the last parts of our show. Here's the next scary clip," Rita said.

The clip started to play.

They had the song "Too sexy" playing in the background, with a runway set up.

_I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt  
So sexy it hurts_

Lucius walked down the runway in a bashful way, sporting his hot pink "robes" and swishing his hair.

_And I'm too sexy for Milan too sexy for Milan  
New York and Japan_

Then Bellatrix walked down sauntered down the runway, her head held high, wearing leather and red high heels. She almost trip, which made the death eaters laugh madly.

_And I'm too sexy for your party  
Too sexy for your party  
No way I'm disco dancing_

Rodlophous, that weird death eater, strolled down the runway, doing the robot and had pink lipstick smeared by the corner of his mouth, his eyes a dazzling and shiny dark red, and his cheeks a rosy pink.

Then Amycus, the death eater in book 6, jumped up onto the runway, and tackled Rodolphous to the ground, yelling, "SHINY! SHINY! YOU HAVE VERY SHINY COLORS!" And was beating the crap out of him.

And Rodlophous was screaming in agony, but nooooo one cared. Haha.

Then Voldie suddenly appeared, shouting, "Okay! I'm here for the slumber party! Oh wait... this isn't a slumber party?"

He was in ducky pajamas that said "quack" and fuzzy ducky slippers, and a fuzzy ducky hat, and a fuzzy stuffed ducky, and so on.

_I'm a model you know what I mean  
And I do my little turn on the catwalk  
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah  
I do my little turn on the catwalk_

Snape then stumbled out from beyond stage and ran down the runway. He had pink high heels on...

When he posed at the end, by blowing a kiss, yes Serverus Snape was blowing a kiss, he tripped and fell on a fellow death eater, his pink high heels high in the air.

"Snape, you're so gay!" chanted Voldie.

From then on, everyone always brang up the idea of Snape wearing high heels.

The clip ended, and the credits started to show while on the right side, a bonus clip was playing.

It was Snape, petting a wig.

"Yes, now you are mine. Must pet the wig, must pet the wig…" he chanted. Then Voldie came bursting through the room, and immediately started to laugh at Snape, who was trying to hide the wig.

* * *

A/N

Hehe, it's kind of stupid, but it's random. Haha, lol. Next chappie will hopefully be up soon. Remember to review…

Kiki and Liz


	3. Secert Thoughts

A/N

This chappie might be confusing... sorry if it is... it's just everyone's secert thoughts on events.

* * *

"Just because he's never snogged anyone in his life, just because the best kiss he's ever had is from our aunt Muriel," - Ginny, HBP

_"And that was a good kiss too... i didn't wash my cheek for days..."_ Ron thought.

"Dad's having fun with the matches." -Fred GoF

_Hm... can I find any sexual innuendo for that? Oh yes, there we go, I found one! _Thought Harry as he fought off a laugh.

"I can't stop you from eating the stupid things yourself, but you're not giving them to first years." - hermione, OOTP

_"Well, fine, I'll just use the puking pastilies for losing weight. Then I'll be like those super skinny models and then I'll be gay! Yay!"_ - Fred

Percy had what were possibly the least helpful words of comfort.  
"They make a fuss about Hogsmeade, but I assure you, Harry, it's not all it's cracked up to be," he said seriously. "All right, the sweetshop's rather good, and Zonko's Joke Shop's frankly dangerous, and yes, the Shrieking Shack is always worth a visit, but really, Harry, apart from that, you're not missing anything."

_Dang it, if you weren't so hot, Percy, I'd be really pissed right now... _-HARRY.

"I'll make Goyle do lines, it'll kill him, he hates writing," said Ron happily. He lowered his voice to Goyle's low grunt, and, screwing up his face in a look of pained concentration, mimed writing in midair.  
"I...must...not...look...like...a...baboon's...backside..."

_"Hey! I don't look like a baboon's backside! I look like a baboon's ass!" - _Goyle

"You're alive," she said blankly to Harry.  
"There's no need to sound so disappointed," he said grimly, wiping flecks of blood and slime off his glasses.  
"Oh, well...I'd just been thinking...if you had died, you'd have been welcome to share my toilet," said Myrtle, blushing silver.

_Dang it, why do i ALWAYS HAVE TO LIVE! i would have died if i had known that i could live with Myrtle... -_Harry.

"You don't want to bottle up your anger like that, Harry, let it all out," - Fred

"_God dammit, I hate caps lock!" _- Harry

Lee Jordan was finding it difficult not to take sides.  
"So-after that obvious and disgusting bit of cheating-"  
"Jordan!" growled Professor McGonagall.  
"I mean, after that open and revolting foul-"  
"Jordan, I'm warning you-"  
"All right, all right. Flint nearly kills the Gryffindor Seeker, which could happen to anyone, I'm sure..."

_grr... flint touched harry. how DARE he touch someone that isn't me... he's gonna pay tonight... -_Lee

"It was my father's," said Sirius, throwing the ring into the sack. "Kreacher wasn't quite as devoted to him as to my mother, but I still caught him snogging a pair of my father's old trousers last week."

_"Damn, and those pants were a good snogger too," _- Kreacher

"Sir — Professor Dumbledore? Can I ask you something?"  
"Obviously, you've just done so," Dumbledore smiled. "You may ask me one more thing, however."  
"What do you see when you look in the mirror?"  
"I? I see myself holding a pair of thick, woolen socks."  
Harry stared.  
"One can never have enough socks. Another Christmas has come and gone and I didn't get a single pair. People will insist on giving me books."

_And of course there was that one porno magazine, but Harry doesn't need to know about that...- _Albus

"Muggle women wear them, Archie, not the men, they wear these," said the Ministry wizard, and he brandished the pinstriped trousers.  
"I'm not putting them on," said old Archie in indignation. "I like a healthy breeze 'round my privates, thanks."

_"OK. What. The. Bloody. Hell. Well, I guess I like a healthy breeze 'round my privates from time to time,"_ -Harry

* * *

A/N

thats it. hope you liked it and understood it.

Kiki


	4. RABID FANS!

A/N

this is probably going to be retarded. oh well. but i think its kinda an inside joke. This is Kiki now. I'm writting this for Liz... This is not meaning to offend anyone who has sent Liz a PM about me or something... Plus, I'm exageratting. THIS IS A JOKE! Liz will probably make me delete it though.

* * *

Liz sat at the computer, checking her email. She had ten messages.

She figured they were some reviews.

Oh, but she was wrong.

"WTF?"

Most of the messages said something that had to do with a certain dedication on one of Kiki's fics.

"WTF!"

The messages said something like this.

_Liz, do you know Kiki?_

_She gave you a dedication!_

_Can you like try to get her to make a dedication for me?_

_Like oh my god, that would be so cool!_

_love ya tons!_

Liz stared at the computer.

"Holy crap, I'm going to kill Kiki."

* * *

A few hours later, Liz walked into her house.

It was so silent.

"Hey, why is my house so quiet?" she asked herself out loud.

She went to fetch some sweatpants out of the dryer.

She opened the door of the dryer and there was a blonde girl in the washer.

Liz screamed.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! WTF ARE YOU DOING IN MY DRYER!"

"Hey, did you manage to get that dedication yet?"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Liz ran out of the house to a nearby pole and started to bang her head on it.

From the looks of it, it seemed like Kiki was going to get hell soon.

* * *

Kiki signed onto her computer later that night. She saw a review from Liz. She eagerly opened it.

Liz always has the funniest reviews.

_KIKI YOU DOLT! YOUR RETARDED FANS ARE PMING ME AND TELLING ME YOU GAVE ME A DEDICATION! HOLY CRAP! DON'T EVER GIVE MEM A DEDICATION AGAIN!_

Kiki put on a mischevious smile.

She went to the frige to get a snack.

A blonde girl popped out of the frige.

Kiki screamed.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH! WTF, WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING, TRYING TO STEAL MY FOOD!"

The blonde girl smiled.

"Would you give me a dedication?"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Kiki screamed until she fainted. And then the blonde girl wrote the next chappie and it was crappy.

* * *

A/N

okay, like i said, it was a joke. I dont mean to offend you guys. LIZ I HOPE YOUR READING THIS! hey liz, post a review so everyone can see how you feel. LOL! BTW, read "A Picture's Worth a Thousand Words" by me and "The Grinch who Stole my heart" by Liz. They are awesome ficcies!

Kiki


	5. I Got Killed by Santa

A/N

I wrote this to make fun of myself. Enjoy...

Dedication: Liz. You know why I get hurt in this chappie, don't you.

* * *

Kiki was typing on the computer, the last words of her second oneshot. She was about to click the save button when.

BA BOOM

A swarm of angry reindeers pranched into my house.

"WFT?"

Santa, with all this plumpiness, sauntered over to me, looking as old as ever. Beads of sweat erupted from my forehead.

_I thought I knew this was coming..._

The jolly old oaf pulls out a scroll with little fat reindeers printed on it. The letter says:

_Dear Santa,_

_She lies! she lies i tell you! i'm a good girl, really, i am!_

"NO!"

"Yes, now I shall take your soul and your clone Sirius. ANd now your on... THE NAUGHTY LIST!"

Kiki slapped Santa.

And then he whistled that curseded whistle.

And all of the reindeer trampled her. And see looked like a fat head.

THE END

* * *

A/N

that was retarded. real chappies are comming up!


	6. Hermione is a Man

A/N

Um. Hi. We haven't updated in forever...I know. Everytime you don't review a chapter, Harry becomes more of an emo kid. Muhahaha.

Dedication: Cookies and PIZZA!

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Hermione was sleepy, and a thought popped into her head.

_I wonder what it would be like to be a boy for a day? _

She spent a couple minutes, brainstorming up ideas on how different it would be, and then finally drifted to sleep.

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The next morning, Hermione woke up and screamed.

"WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BOOBS!"

Hermione had noticed she was no longer a girl when she went into the bathroom.

She had long curly brown hair that went down to half of her neck, muscly arms, a six pack, hairy arms and legs, armpit hair, and... well, you know what I mean.

Hermione wrapped a blanket around her body and scurried over to Dumbledore's office. Panting, Hermione busted into Dumbledore's office, screaming.

"Dumbledore, why am I a BOY instead of a girl!"

Dumbledore chuckled and his bright blue eyes twinkled.

"I thought that you should really see what its like to be a man instead of a woman. Have fun miss granger, it only lasts a day," Dumbledore said cheerfully.

Hermione's mouth dropped and she stood gawking at Dumbledore. She left the office very upset. This wouldn't exactly be her idea of fun.

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Hermione was pacing back and forth, muttering to herself. "Hey, 'Mione, what's wrong?" Ron called. They obviously had heard of the little... misunderstanding. Hermione whirled around.

"What do you THINK is wrong?" She yelled. He shrugged.

"I HAVE A PENIS, THAT'S WHAT'S WRONG!" She screamed. Ron turned bright red and started stuttering. The entire common turned to look at her.

"Uh... Sorry." She said, before running into the dormitory... The girls dormitory.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" She screamed as she came shooting down the slide.

"Looks like she's going to have to sleep in our dormitory..." Harry sighed.

Hermione had the most furious look on her face as Ron and Harry dragged her to their dormitory.

"Why do I have to be a boy and not a girl! This is not fair at all!" Hermione said irritably. Harry and Ron stared at her.

"Well... that must be bloody horrible..." Ron muttered. Hermione slapped him.

"Oiiii! 'Mione, you have got to not slap if your going to be a guy. Then you look like a wuss," Ron said, rubbing his cheek.

"Well, if you are man, that wouldn't have hurt," Hermione said, smirking.

Ron glared at her and Harry just sighed.

"Well, Hermione I guess we're going to have to get you in some of our clothes if your going to be a boy," Harry stated, getting up to fetch some clothes for Hermione to wear.

"Great. Just peachy," Hermione muttered as she unleashed her anger on Ron's pillow.

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Hermione sighed as she changed into Harry's clothes. Suddenly, however, Draco Malfoy came bursting in through the wall on a motorcycle (hey people, it's called Sprinkled Randomness for a reason, you know).

"MALFOY!" Hermione screamed.

"Yes," Draco smiled politely at her. Hermione gaped. He looked back at her. "I think I can fix you." He said.

"How?" Hermione said, wondering how he knew.

"Like this." Draco said. And before she could stop it, his tongue was in her (his?) mouth.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Hermione screamed as she pushed him off of her. She looked to the side, where the door was. There it was, wide open, Harry and Ron staring in, popcorn in hands.

"No, feel free to keep going!" Ron said as he took another handful of popcorn.

"RON. HARRY." Hermione said, her voice raising. Both boys sighed, and got up to help her. Hermione looked horrified.

"You are such a PRAT!" she yelled at Draco. Draco looked furious.

"Okay then. I'll run you over with my motorcycle then," he declared.

Hermione screeched and hurried out of the room, Harry and Ron hustling after her, trying to carry their popcorn without spilling it.

"AHH!" Ron screamed.

Everyone stopped and looked at Ron.

"What? I just spilt my popcorn. Now let's carry on," Ron explained.

Now everyone continued to run and Hermione was running so fast that... She ran into an imaginary pole.

"How can I run into this stupid pole!" Hermione questioned, rubbing her forehead.

The clouds suddenly turned gray and lightning struck with Kiki's insane face looking down upon her, laughing.

"Quit that! I am not allowed to run into imaginary poles! There not even supposed to be there!" Hermione raged at Kiki. Kiki didn't look to pleased. Suddenly, A lighting blot came down from the sky and made Hermione crash to the ground. Kiki laughed.

"If I can't make you run into an imaginary pole, then I can strike you with lightning," Kiki boomed.

The sky turned sunny again and Ron, Harry, and Draco all looked at each other.

"Popcorn?" Ron asked them. Harry and Draco nodded.

Then Draco ran them over with his motorcycle and took the popcorn.

"BAHAHAHA!" he laughed.

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A/N

Horray. A chappie. Review morks! Or prepare for an emo Harry!

-Love Kiki and Liz


End file.
